WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
