im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
