im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
