God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
