Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
