I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you win again, gameday.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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