I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
