Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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