i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
