I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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