you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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