I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Randomize
