good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize
