real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
