Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Say something about gay babies.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
