whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
