dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
