i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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