do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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