I must be too annoying 4 u.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
