Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
