therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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