Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
i think i just lost a toe
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
