i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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