so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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