office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
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