i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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