1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
