i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize