We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
