I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
