): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
