Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
