That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Randomize