How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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