Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
