seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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