Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Randomize
