I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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