Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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