In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
