Where did you get a picture of my penis
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
