Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
