Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
