And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize