But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
