you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Randomize
