I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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