she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Someone came in the potted fern
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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