Do you still have your period?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
