Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
