wrigley field is MILF paradise
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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