Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize