YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
