week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
