lets start a swedish sibling band together
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
