i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
