is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize