Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
