Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
