so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
