she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
