thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
this boner is exhausting
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
