i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
