I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
