What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize