The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
