their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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