just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
