your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
