I got chris browned last night
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
