she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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