You just made me feel so damn special
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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