Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
