Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
