the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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