that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
